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By Fareeda Ahmed September 2, 2009 A recent report showed the shady, attractive underbelly of Lebanon - apparently - get ready for it now - Lebanese people have pre-marital relations! While the preferred rendezvous may differ (i.e. remote valley offroads and rented chalets), the attitude towards pre-marital sex in Lebanon seems to resemble that of much of the rest of the world: pre-marital sex is frowned upon and sometimes punishable; girls have much more to risk than guys (including unwanted pregnancy and damaged reputations); and partakers often hide their actions from their parents and the general public. Wow, that sounds like pretty much everywhere else in the world. The question that many of us from post-Kinsey report cultures ask is: “If people are doing something, and they do not believe it is wrong, then why do they hide it?” Many people, and I have to sadly include myself in this group, are quick to call out “Hypocrisy!” If you’re going to do something, come out and do it in public, and don’t lie about it while silently judging everyone else for the same behavior. Islamically, aren’t hypocrites said to be worse then plain sinners? Why add insult to injury and lie about your alleged “misdeed?” But, I pose a conundrum to you: is it really hypocritical to commit a certain behavior, any behavior, and decide to be “respectful” about it by not flaunting it about? How many other things do we do in private that really shouldn’t be anyone else’s business anyway? Well let’s see. 1. We do not usually shower or bathe in public. This would be considered very odd and disrespectful. And you can get fined for it. Surprisingly a lot. 2. We do not talk about our digestive regulation in public. Even referring to it here in this bullet point is probably crude. And there I’ve gone. We even give it numbers (1 or 2) to avoid speaking about something totally natural. And don’t think about mentioning it at a meal, although it is the natural end of that meal ... 3. We do not discuss money or earnings. Remember how you smile nervously when your kid asks your snazzy boss “How much money do you make?” 4. We do not ask people to go on about their divorces, miscarriages, or family troubles - all considered personal issues, taboo for discussion. 5. We do not ask people to confess to or justify their trash TV choices. Celebrity Survivor? Really? No one should have to confess to that. That’s between you and the Nielsen ratings. Liberals seem to decry the “injustice” of young people being unable to have sex in the open. But, must every sexual act be turned into some kind of freedom-fighting finger in the face? There’s a reason they call it “undercover”. Like it’s a basic human right to have sex where you want, when you want. But show me where that place is where that is ever true? Not even in college. Sorry. Although the restrictions loosened up in that free-wheeling place (i.e. the library stacks, dorm rooms), I saw plenty of people gather up the dirty magazines before their parents came for Thanksgiving weekend. Sex is possibly the most regulated bodily function - and every culture has a code that restricts, sanctions, or shuns certain aspects of it. Whether you’re on a nude beach in Germany or a Manchurian village in China, there is a code for where how and with whom you are supposed to have sex. In the Freudian nightmare of civilization that we call “life” - in which man is always dissatisfied because he has to sublimate his animal instincts and desires in order to be a functioning member of society - people will always gripe about the rules. But as long as personal choice is still being respected, then the griping is quite natural ... at least as natural as sex anyway. So, Lebanon, if you want to keep it undercover, that’s your business.  http://www.elanthemag.com/index.php/site/blog_detail/undercovers_in_lebanon/