By Fareeda Ahmed
October 14, 2009
Put away the gladiator boots, ruched bodices, and off-the-shoulder chiffons, ladies. The Fashion Police seem to have fallen in love with something totally unprecedented: the niqab!
It seems no one can think of any garment more worthy of discussion or restyling!
(See post on “To Niqab or Not to Niqab”)
The latest in a slew of change-ups: the one-eyed niqab. That’s right. The only thing people see is one eye...oh, and your silhouette.
Here are some pro and con takes on fashion’s latest object of obsession:
Pros:
1. “Once my doctor told me that one of my eyes was bigger than the other. Now I won’t have to be self-conscious about it anymore....wait! Which one is bigger?!?!?”
2. “I think women will enjoy having a perpetual “wink.” Makes us seem more fun-loving.”
3. “Who says our women are not empowered? X-Men fans will covet the Cyclops burka.”
4. “This is an excellent safeguard against ‘the evil eye.’ Now, half of all evil eyes will be wiped out in one fell swoop! ...I will get two for my ex-wife...”
5. “Simulating partial blindness will allow women to empathize better with the handicapped.”
6. “My eyes are two different colors: blue and brown. Now I can pretend to be two different people, and this will get me more free beef jerky samples at Costco.”
7. “I’m very excited for this. Does it come in ‘Midnight Black?’ What about ‘Burnt Charcoal?’ In the Spring, I will look forward to flirtier colors like ‘Onyx,’ ‘Starless Night,’ and ‘Sooty Chimney’.’”
Cons:
1. “One-eyed veil? ...hmmm...that eliminates depth perception...so basically women will be bumping into things, including men who are not related to them. And, it will seriously mess up their tennis game. Sounds like a bad idea to me.”
2. “This could seriously hurt burka sales (including Laptop Burka sales) - but maybe some friendly capitalistic competition will fuel product quality and spike innovation - I’m still waiting to see Pakistani flag burkas. And when can I pre-order my Zac-Efron print burka?”
3. “This totally kills the eye-lift I just got. $35k down the drain!”
*To all my covered friends: I support any woman’s choice to wear what she wants. I just think it’s funny they keep retooling this garment.
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